


Deep in a Dream of You

by SlantedKnitting



Series: merlin memory month 2019 [9]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 19:50:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19026751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlantedKnitting/pseuds/SlantedKnitting
Summary: Arthur doesn't want to talk about what he's doing with Merlin, but he needs advice. Maybe Gwaine was the wrong one to call.





	Deep in a Dream of You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Merlin Memory Month](https://merlinmemorymonth.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.
> 
> Day 9, Path 3: Things to Hide / Things to Reveal

"It's not like that," Arthur insisted, lowering his voice.

"You're fucking Merlin. It is exactly like that."

"That's not what's happening." Arthur adjusted his hoodie, hoping the thick fabric would prevent anyone else on the train from hearing his conversation.

He was heading home from a work conference. Rather, he was heading to Merlin's after being away from home for a week, the promise of sex more alluring than a night in his own bed.

"What's not happening, the fucking or the feelings?"

"There are no feelings," Arthur mumbled, catching the eye of the middle-aged lady across the aisle. She gave him a worried look, and Arthur shifted to angle his body more towards the window.

"So, just the fucking, then? Just you—balls-deep in Merlin's arse—with no feelings whatsoever."

Arthur frantically adjusted the volume on his mobile even though it was already as low as it could get.

"Or is it the other way around?" Gwaine asked when he didn't respond.

Arthur decided not to respond to that, either. There were some things Gwaine simply didn't need to know, even if Arthur found that he was the only one he could talk to about this without feeling too judged.

"It is the other way around, isn't it?"

Arthur closed his eyes, hating that he could _hear_ Gwaine grinning.

"I didn't know you had it in you," Gwaine said, sounding impressed. "I mean… literally."

He burst into laugher at his own joke, and all Arthur could do was be grateful that Gwaine couldn't see him blushing.

"I told you all this for a reason," he reminded Gwaine once he'd calmed down.

"Right, right. Let's see… you called to tell me that you've been doing wildly inappropriate things with one of your best mates, and you want to know if he's seeing anyone else, but you're too in love to ask him yourself."

"I'm not in love," Arthur hissed. "I'm just—it's an awkward conversation to have. He's… not exactly forthcoming, and I have no right to pry into his private life."

"You've got to be kidding me. He's putting his cock inside of you. You are his private life! You have every right to ask if he's fucking anyone else. You should ask. Jesus, Arthur, this is how diseases are spread."

"We use condoms," Arthur muttered, sinking lower in his seat.

"You are aware that condoms can't protect you against everything, right? Especially feelings," he added in an annoying conspiratorial whisper.

"I'm hanging up in ten seconds," Arthur warned. "Can you please just tell me if he has a girlfriend?"

Gwaine made an indignant noise. "You can't actually be that stupid."

"Gwaine—"

"Merlin is gay," Gwaine said, his tone suddenly serious. "He hasn't had a girlfriend since he was a teenager, and I very, sincerely, 100% doubt he would ever be messing around with two men at the same time."

Arthur inhaled slowly and then let out a long sigh. "That's what I was afraid of."

"So… you wanted him to be cheating on you?"

"It wouldn't be cheating—we're not even together." Arthur rubbed his eyes and leaned back against the headrest. "He's just been… sort of distracted the last few times. I thought maybe…"

"You two need couples counseling. Just fucking talk to him. And not about the weather."

"We talk all the time. Literally, all the time. I've got four texts from him since I phoned you."

"That doesn't sound like he's distracted from you."

"I mean… I mean during."

"He seems distracted _while_ he's fucking you senseless?"

Arthur tugged on his hoodie again. "Yeah."

"You're blind as fuck, do you know that?"

"I didn't actually call to be verbally abused, thanks."

"No," Gwaine said sternly, "you called for advice, and I'm going to give it to you."

"I called to find out if Merlin has a girlfriend," Arthur corrected him.

"I'm not an idiot. You're drowning in it, I can tell from your voice."

"Drowning in what?" Arthur asked, genuinely confused.

"In Merlin," Gwaine said. His voice was soft but Arthur could still hear him smiling. "And if he's under the impression that there are 'no feelings', then he's probably trying to protect himself by concentrating on not blurting out 'I love you' when he comes all over your peachy bum."

"My peachy—"

"Talk to him. Promise me."

"I—"

"If you don't, I will stalk you both until I find you mid-coitus and facilitate the conversation myself."

"Okay, okay. I'll… what should I say to him?"

"For fuck's sake."

Gwaine hung up and Arthur huffed, wishing he hadn't even tried to confide in him. Gwaine had told Arthur everything he didn't want to hear—and everything he had known he would hear.

He didn't want to talk to Merlin about what they were doing. He just wanted to keep doing it for a very, very long time.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

It was almost one o'clock in the morning by the time Arthur finally reached Merlin's, so he let himself in with the spare key he'd stolen months before. The flat was dark except for a line of dim light coming from under the door to Merlin's room.

Arthur set down his bag and made his way towards the bedroom, careful to avoid the coffee table and shoes he knew were likely scattered around the living room. When he reached the door, he knocked quietly and waited for Merlin's muffled response before entering.

Merlin was sprawled across his bed, shirtless, with the sheets bunched around his waist. His hair was a mess, and he was half-asleep, but he looked warm and happy and a little bit like home.

Arthur undressed quickly, trying to push those thoughts aside.

"Hey," Merlin breathed when Arthur crawled onto the bed. He reached out lazily and Arthur let himself be dragged down for a slow, sloppy kiss. "Missed you."

"Missed you, too," Arthur said to Merlin's collarbone, his chest tight. That was something they'd never said to each other before.

"Too tired to fuck," Merlin said, pulling Arthur down next to him and dragging Arthur's arm across his chest. "But I just bought your shampoo."

"Um… wait, how are those related?"

"Shower sex," Merlin mumbled, carding his fingers through Arthur's hair. "In the morning."

"Oh, right. Good."

"You okay?"

Arthur pressed his face to Merlin's rib cage and took a deep breath, trying not to lose himself in the achingly familiar scent of Merlin and Merlin's well-worn sheets.

"Gwaine says we should talk."

Merlin's fingers stilled against Arthur's scalp. "You told Gwaine about this?"

"Well… maybe."

Merlin laugh was silent but it shook his whole body, and Arthur clutched his side tighter, holding on to the strange response.

"That's a start," Merlin said, suddenly sounding much more awake.

Arthur lifted his head to see Merlin smiling at him. It was a cautious, hopeful smile, and his eyes were full of something Arthur hadn't seen in a while. It was something he had never noticed before, something he hadn't realized was missing even though he had felt the difference.

Merlin kissed Arthur again, this time with more meaning and more tongue.

"Thought you were too tired?" Arthur said as Merlin sat himself on Arthur's thighs.

"I was faking it."

"You… were lying?"

"I was pretending."

Arthur frowned, and Merlin's playful expression faded quickly.

"Can we… can we stop pretending?" Arthur asked quietly, struggling not to look away.

Merlin nodded slowly and they held each other's gaze for a long moment before Merlin leaned down for a kiss that left Arthur feeling shaky with want and something he felt he could finally begin to examine and name and share.

"Can I fuck you?" Merlin asked, his forehead pressed against Arthur's and his hand pulling at Arthur's half-hard cock.

"Obviously," Arthur managed, his voice already rough with arousal.

Merlin chuckled, and Arthur, grinning at the broken tension, arched up for another kiss.


End file.
